You want to Love yourself unconditionally? You can !
You could start to meditate.
That´s what I stumbled upon when I was starting a Jiu-Jitsu training many years ago and realised that before we were allowed to start the training in the dojo, we had to go through 10 minutes of breathing , sitting still and letting go.
No description of “how to” was given to us than “breathe in love , breathe out stress and all that shit, you know..” ( some of our Jiu Jitsu trainers were punks), but it became naturally, gradually a useful habit in my everyday live to be the “observer of my own thoughts, emotions, feelings,…”,just for some minutes, expanding gradually.
Just being. ( asking secretly inside ” Who is that “ME” really “…of course 😉
Nowadays some call it” mindfulness” or mindful awareness and it is even becoming a part of certain methods of psychological practise, in other words it is mainstream.
Nowadays I still learn daily from this practise. No this is not a method, it is just what came naturally to me and it works for me and through me.
In the essence it is just sitting / being still, breathing (love) in, breathing (forgiveness) out, letting go (fear) and let Love (=God) be. That´s it.
I think this might not feel really helpful for many people as an instruction in the sense of “How to meditate 101” or “ how to let go, to process, pain, fear, anger, frustration, stressful thoughts, worries etc., it is so easy to describe something simple like meditation in a more brainy way, so here we go:
Try to find the most relaxing sitting position for you and ideally a silent room or even better,an environment that is including nature of some kind (park, woods,forest, beach..)
It is very important to ground yourself, that is why sitting is a good idea, while lying might put you right into the sleeping mode.
Grounding means that you consciously establish a connection to the earth, the very mother earth you are sitting on, because this is simply where you within your human, physical experience are, at least if you are not sitting in a plane or in the space station.
By the way: Meditating is not some fluffy new age stuff or an obscure levitation exercise practised by weird Yogis .
It can be a very reliable, down to earth technology, that has measurable effects, in deed there is some good chunk of science nowadays available for everyone who wants to stick only to facts and figures and who has access to the internet or literature:
Meditation can have many positive effects for you, holistically: Physically, mentally, emotionally and if you want spiritually.
Back to the importance of grounding:
Like a tuning fork, the earth has natural occurring sound frequencies and these are called Schumann resonances.
Did you know that the first five Schumann resonances overlap with the brain frequency bands ?
Especially in meditation or within creative activities, dreaming, meditation, daydreaming the human brain waves ( delta, theta,alpha ) have a frequency that is in tune with the natural electromagnetic frequencies of the planet earth.
Just do your own research if you want, it is worth the read.
We are living in the 21st century and I called the conscious act of meditating a technology, because even if you might not have recognised it as yet, but your body, your mind, your consciousness, has the same potential like a high- tech space-ship, that many of us might have read, heard or seen about in so called science-fiction stories or movies.
Even though some people still believe, that their bodies are just calorie burning machines or a random bunch of cellular structure, functioning in a random pattern of biochemical interactions, in other words they believe they have just a bicycle, but in deed they have an advanced technology, a space ship and they can either ignore it, or they can learn to use it to their advantage.
Advanced science ( no not the main- stream that is still sicking to Newtons laws only) is getting closer to spirituality and the other way around, than you might have noticed.
O.K. this was the slightly brainy part, just for our ego´s to feel a bit more sophisticated, now let´s get to the simplicity of our “diamond in the heart-lotus” which has more to do with the highest and most powerful vibrational frequency that there is in the multiverse, universe, cosmos:
Step 1 : Forgive yourself... UNCONDITIONALLY….( use that as an affirmation if you want..like your personal Mantra) a everything every thought, emotion,guilt, anger, frustration, etc, whatever thought…. Just let…. it ……GO.
Do not (NOT) resist thoughts, because that is not letting go, but rather provoking or attracting more of that kind of BS in your thought- merry- go- around, that you do not want there.
The more you resist and fight this “monkey mind”, the more it will tease and provoke you. 😀
Like clouds in the sky just witness all these thoughts passing by. Even if it seems to be a clod blanket:
Breathe out all that BS that simpley does not feel good, and breathe in the love, light, good energy, life-force, whatever you like to imagine.. whatever works good for you, whatever feels good.
Step 2:Love yourself unconditionally. No matter what.
No matter what kind of thoughts and feelings, or even pain might rise up now, just let it BE there. Does it have a message for you ? Just listen to it and then let it, let all of them go.
They are just thoughts and feelings. Why should you even judge or interpret them as good or bad? They are not who you ARE, therefore you just do not have to identify with them. They will come and they will go, that is for certain.
So they are rather representing constant change, than something that perpetually is, right?
What really is, is your consciousness, being able to observe all this from a neutral point of view.
Or at least gradually getting to this realisation. It is only a matter of breaths, not even time, because you can get there in just 2 seconds or in 2 hours, that depends only on your readiness to let all this just be and on letting it go… fear, anger,stress, grudges, judgement, resentment…. All processed things in this process are already a progress !
I know…letting go, that´s the hard bit. But: The physical reason for that hard bit is actually relatively soft tissue and it is called your BRAIN.
It is creating and broadcasting some thoughts, but have you ever felt LOVE in your brain ?
No, the brain is meant to be used as a tool for thoughts, calculation, creativity, talking, writing learning, communication, visualisation, dreaming and so on, but feelings, especially Love are mainly locatable in and around the physical HEART – area and secondarily in the gut, the skin, the spine or other body-parts.
If you want to give your brain a task right now, you can even count silently the seconds that you are breathing in, holding your breath and breathing out.
Or, even better, you can use an affirmation / mantra,(either as a silent repetitive thought-mantra or spoken) for example :
“ I love myself unconditionally, in the same way like God / Goddess / Source / Creator /Love Light Energy ( what ever you want to use here) loves me unconditionally.”
Or how about just “I love myself unconditionally.” the shorter, the better.
How about “ I Love you” ?
It is not important that someone or something is meant with this mantra, in deed you can use the mantra for everything that comes up, from your mind, imagination, thoughts or even from your environment, maybe the lawnmower from the neighbours, maybe the bird in the tree, maybe a dog, maybe your cat …?
Unconditional Love frees your mind.
The mantra “ Unconditional Love frees my mind”or “I am Love” could be very helpful right now. Because this is what can happen right now, or within the next minutes or hours, or days, every time you want and you allow it to be like this.
Sounds too simple ? Why should it be complicated ?
The brain might complicate things within certain concepts about conditional love: “I love this and her and him because,..if…only when…, unconditional love cold be so easy if only all the conditions are right to love them that way, right ?“
Unconditional Love is not arising from the brain nor from the train of thoughts but from the heart and does not need explanations, approval or justification.
Unconditional Love frees, liberates your mind through your heart.
You CAN breathe yourself through that mantra (“ Unconditional Love frees my mind”or “I am Love”) every minute, hour, in every day live, always.
Not only in a calm, sitting breathing meditation. It has the potential to function everywhere: In the school, at work, in the tube, in a traffic jam (maybe rather not while driving a car..), at the bus station, in the bus…
Just allow yourself to be in joy and love.
Wishing you love, joy and happiness,